When the moving van rolled away from our house in Tulsa almost a year ago I had it in my mind that we’d give it a year in Texas before selling the Tulsa house. I figured that this was mostly a sentimental decision. I didn’t want to let go of the house just yet because of the memories. The fact that we couldn’t sell it was actually a relief to me. This would all work itself out though. We’d sell it eventually. After all, we were going to the Promised Land. It was flowing with milk and honey. There was no way that things couldn’t go well in Texas… especially compared to Tulsa. We’d be able to unload the house in a year, after the ice storm of 2007 was a distant memory.
Here we are… a year later and things are not great. The job I left town for has dried up, and we’ve been living hand-to-mouth for the last 6 months or so. The ice storm was replaced by a financial storm that has hit the entire country. I’ve been looking for other work that will support our huge mortgage payment here and nothing is really panning out on a permanent basis. I have a smattering of freelance work along with the half-salary from Brown. We haven’t been able to find a church community where we fit really in. We are either too conservative or too liberal… or just weird. Here we are… a year later and I actually had the conversation with Sarah this morning about the possibility of moving back. Now everything is even worse.
Now I have no confidence in my decision making ability. Lately when I do something that I think is right, it turns out to be wrong. And when it’s wrong, my wife and kids are effected. It’s not just me.
I should have taken the job at the Tulsa World.