A few days ago, when I arrived home from work, my kiddos were all buzzing with excitement about what they’d done that day. Turns out that they had gone shopping for school supplies, and they could not wait to show me what they were going to be taking to class this fall. Jonah and Grace both felt so big because it was their first time to get school supplies. Jonah was mostly proud of his little backpack. He wore it around the house for hours… until he had forgotten that he even had it on. Grace loved everything that she pulled out of her new princess backpack. She had princess pencils, and princess notebooks, and princess everything. Gracie is a princess… and a mermaid.
Then we got to Andy’s supplies. In a way, the things you pick out for your school supplies reveal a window to your heart. OK… that’s a bit dramatic, but in this case I think it’s true, and it made me glad that we are choosing to educate our kids through Classical Conversations. Andy had picked an eclectic mix that I would know as his if I had to pick it out of a line up. He had chosen some Star Wars pencils and a Star Wars notebook. He also had a Transformers folder, but just after that he had chosen a folder with the picture of a cute little fuzzy kitten. After that there was a folder with a cute little brown puppy.
This was the mix that is Andy. He loves science fiction and ‘cool’ little boy stuff like Transformers, but he also loves kittens and puppies. Had he shown up in public school with this mix he would have been made fun of by other little boys. He would be forced to conform to the image that the culture forces onto many little boys, or pay the price. These boys are forced to abandon a gentle side at a young age… a side that likes kittens and puppies. Even as early as the 2nd grade this begins.
I observed the source of some of this pressure first-hand when we lived in Texas. The source was an insecure father that lived down the street. If you looked closely, under the bleached hair and suntanned skin you could still see an insecure little nerd with a lifetime of hurt that he was trying to hide. As an adult, this man tried his best to cover up his former shame, but it always showed through just a little, and much of this was because of the macho over-compensation.
The saddest part of the story to me was the way that he tried to ‘spare’ his little boy from the hurts that he had endured as a child. This boy could quote the team roster of many NFL teams, and knew which school teams were playing on Saturday. When he would volunteer this information to me he always seemed to trying to impress me with his knowledge. His dad often took him into the street to ‘play ball’. The soundtrack to this playtime usually involved a lot of yelling. “Hustle! Go get the ball! You have to move faster! Concentrate!” This was the sound of their play time, and it always made me sad.
The curious thing was how much this little boy enjoyed being at our house. Andy loves to build with Legos, and he loves to play out the little scenes he creates. When we first got these boys together Andy would try to get this boy to play Legos and use his imagination. After a little time this neighbor boy had dropped this man-ish attitude and was playing like a 7-year-old boy. He seemed free when he was at our house, but it always took him a few minutes to drop the facade.
Anyway, I say all of this to convey the fact that I am glad that Andy feels free to be himself. He feels free to enjoy what he truly enjoys. I don’t want that to be taken from him, especially not by me.